Seeing Your Child

“I’ve learned a ... profound way to connect with young children that I highly recommend. It’s simply seeing them—seeing into their hearts and souls through the lens of our unconditional acceptance. It’s especially powerful when kids are struggling or their behavior is defiant, aggressive, or otherwise disagreeable.” –Janet Lansbury

As humans we share a need to be seen and known, to be understood and accepted. And yet much of my research on “seeing children” yielded parent-focused accounts of how parents feel about seeing their child happy (the greatest feeling) or struggling (terribly challenging) or even seeing the world through the eyes of children (a joyous experience according to popular opinion--I personally think there might be some fear and frustration mixed in). Educator Janet Lansbury urges parents and caregivers to practice seeing children from a place of openness, patience, trust, and “With a perspective so clear that it cuts through the haze of your anger, annoyance, sadness, pity, guilt, fear, resentment, or other concerns, because if I [your child] have to worry about you,” she writes, “I can’t share me.” Just for today, I challenge you to practice seeing your child from a place of curiosity without judgment or attachment.

What do you need to be grounded enough to practice seeing your child in this way today?