Pursuing Wholeness

“How liberating it is to pursue wholeness instead of perfection.” –Morgan Harper Nichols

As a parent, awareness of and appreciation for our wholeness helps us to accept ourselves as well as the wholeness of our children. With an emphasis on healing by accessing and loving one’s inner wounded parts, the framework used in Internal Family Systems therapy is a useful tool for exploring our own wholeness. This model of therapy promotes “self leadership”--the idea that we all have a core “Self” that embodies the qualities of compassion, calmness, clarity, curiosity, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness. And yet there are often times when we are not leading our lives from such a grounded place. In those cases, it may be that our wounded parts--which can manifest as inner critics, victims, self-saboteurs, and more--are running the show. The point of Internal Family Systems is to cultivate awareness of these parts, to uncover their good intentions for us, and help integrate them so that we may spend more time being grounded in the qualities of Self. Even without engaging in this therapy, you can begin to pay attention to the different parts of you and when they become activated. Instead of pushing them away, pull them closer and ask what they are needing from you. As you do this, you can begin to embrace your wholeness and be a more grounded parent.

Which of the qualities of Self do you want to embody today? What parts of you need attention in order to do so?